1. Whoever managed to get this giant bag of Lucky Charms marshmallows
…so you can be their new best friend.
2. Whoever threw this party
…so you can have them plan your birthday.
3. Whoever this dog walker is
…so you can ask how he got so dang cool.
4. Whoever takes advantage of a heat wave like this
…so you can carpool with them.
5. Whoever this little girl that doesn’t trust monkeys is
…so you can ask her who won the staring contest.
6. Whoever did these hairstyles
…so you can get some ideas for your next haircut.
7. Whoever just had their ice cream stolen by a bird
…so you can tell them that, hey, at least they still have half.
8. Whoever’s grocery cart looks like this
…so you can invite yourself over for dinner.
9. Whoever this skateboarding professor is
…so you can get a degree in BEING RADICAL!
10. Whoever these kids are
…so that when they’re President, you can say you supported them from day one.
11. Whoever this kid getting eaten by a camel is
…so you can find out if he ever got his revenge.
12. Whoever baby Kim Jong-Il is
…so you can give thanks for the NEW dear leader.
13. Whoever just hit this milestone
…so you can congratulate him.
14. Whoever gave these out to trick-or-treaters
…so you can shake their hand on a prank well done.
15. Whoever is giving these out
…so you can, uh, nevermind.
16. Whoever loves Wendy’s this much
…so you can get their opinion on Arby’s.
17. Whoever has this great of a name
…so you can meet his parents and find out why they named him that.
18. Whoever dressed up as Hall & Oates
…so you can get some ideas for a Simon & Garfunkel costume.
19. Whoever owns this sweater
…so you can “borrow” it.
20. Whoever can name a song this easily
…so you can find out what that damn song is.
22. Whoever is holding this fat cat
…so you can ask if it would be a good way to work out your biceps.
23. Whoever is bench pressing a goose
…so you can ask if that’s a better way to work out than lifting a fat cat.
24. Whoever lives here
…so you can ask them about their intense rivalry with neighboring town Hoagieville.
25. Whoever looks like Cartman
…so you can head on down to South Park.
26. Whoever threw this birthday party for their dog
…so you can find out what EXACTLY was in that cake.
27. Whoever gave this person food
…so you can teach them how to eat.
28. Whoever owns this business
…so you can find out if they’re better than ight.
29. Whoever snuck this into a game
…and can do this
…so you can take them with you everywhere you go.
30. Whoever threw this tennis ball at this dog’s crotch
…so you can ask when he stopped laughing.
31. Whoever’s wedding party this is
…so you can ask what it’s like to get married at the bottom of the sea.
32. Whoever knows this shortcut
…so you can at least try to beat them in Super Smash Brothers…
or play them outside a Taco Bell.
33. Whoever pushed this pug down this slide
…so you can ask them when the pug knew this was a big mistake.
34. Whoever photobombed all these concert pictures
…so you can ask them to dance.
35. Whoever this ripped person is
…so you can find out their fitness secrets.
36. Whoever Lindsay is
…so you can ask her if she actually bought this photo, or just took a picture of the screens after the ride.
37. Whoever had to film this
…so you can ask them if they wish they worked for WB instead.
38. Whoever let their grandma take this picture
…so you can ask if she can do your headshots.
39. Whoever this luchador riding a motorcycle while riot police fire tear gas at him is
…so you can always feel safe.
40. Whoever is riding this scooter
…so you can ride in style.
41. Whoever’s desktop this is
…so you can find out more about their Shaqintosh.
42. Whoever’s parents these are
…so you can hear more embarrassing stories about them.
43. Whoever had to sit in that seat
…so you can tell them that you’ve been there, man.
44. Whoever this very adventurous kid is
…so you can go hiking with him.
45. Whoever put this on the news
…so you can thank them for covering the stories that ACTUALLY matter.
46. Whoever this poor guy is
…so you can tell them all about the name changing process.
47. Whoever this sports fan is
…so you can have them there the next time you play ping pong.
48. Whoever fell asleep like this in class
…so you can learn how to get a good night’s sleep anywhere.
49. Whoever planned this “Same Height Party”
…so you can get your own pair of weird blue shoes.
50. And Nicolas Cage
- Why I miss Kim Jong-Il (evergreeninstitute.wordpress.com)
- Recipe: Lucky Charms Marshmallow Treats (mandaloves.wordpress.com)
- Former North Korean Tyrant Kim Jong Il Liked to Eat Snakes, Hippos and Spiders (newsfeed.time.com)
- north korea defector on how state brainwashes people (thesun.co.uk)
- Missing North Korean Sailor Found Dead, Still Carrying Pictures Of Dear Leaders (businessinsider.com)